Ser dona. I blanca. I europea. / Being a woman. And white. And European.

"Feminism involves so much more than gender equality. It has to involve a consciousness of capitalism and racism, and colonialism and post-colonialities, and ability and more genders than we can imagine and more sexualities than we ever thought we could name". Angela Davis

CATALÀ (English version below)

Asseguda davant la pantalla en blanc pensava en per on podia començar. I començaré pel que potser molestarà més a les meves companyes, però els que em coneixeu sabeu que la sinceritat és un dels meus defectes.

Tot i les desigualtats encara existents en la nostra societat, el cert és que mai havia sentit que la meva condició de dona em limités. De fet, en molts aspectes el món és fàcil per a una dona europea blanca i jove. Però és que pot ser mai havia sigut tant conscient del meu gènere fins que vaig marxar de viatge sola.

A casa havia sigut víctima d’algun comentari sexista, la típica broma de l’amic gracioset que després ho arregla amb un “ei tranquil·la tampoc cal que et posis així”, el crit o la mirada no sol·licitada des de l’altra vorera, la pressió per a tenir un cert físic. 

Però no és comparable a caminar pel carrer i que cada home que passi pel teu costat opini sobre el teu físic, et faci tot tipus d’oferiments sexuals i s’ofengui quan no contestis, busqui la teva atenció o xiuli com el que crida al gos. Buscar ajuda en l’autoritat policial i que et contesti amb un comentari del mateix estil.

La meva primera setmana a Guatemala vaig anar a l’hospital amb una nena de 14 anys que havia sigut mare. Vaig tornar a casa amb una nena que plorava, un nen que la consolava i un petit taüt blanc.

No és comparable a haver-te de plantejar si surts per la nit i t’arrisques a que la comunitat deixi de parlar amb tu perquè les dones no haurien de sortir per la nit si no és amb la seva parella.

Quedar per sopar amb la teva amiga i els seus fills, i que arribi el seu marit begut amb els seus amics i demandin que els feu el sopar, intentar convèncer-la que no és la seva obligació, que ells tenen mans per a cuinar, i acabar menjant assegudes al terra fora de casa mentre els homes seuen a taula menjant el sopar que ella els ha preparat.

A haver de fer fora de casa als mateixos homes beguts que no saps com ni per què han entrat a casa teva. A que intentin fer-te un petó, et toquin i t’insultin quan no ho acceptis.

El segon mes a Guatemala vaig descobrir que les dones de la comunitat es feien lligaments de trompes al parir a amagades dels seus marits perquè no volien tenir més fills i ells es negaven a fer servir preservatius.

Però jo puc tornar, a la seguretat de caminar pel carrer de nit sola, a no haver de demanar que els meus companys homes tinguin les mateixes obligacions que jo, a la llibertat de poder dir que no estic d’acord amb la societat en la que visc, de poder beure alcohol sense ser criticada, a poder fer servir anticonceptius sense haver d’amagar-ho a la meva parella, a no ser mare adolescent o preadolescent, a poder fer un petó a tantes noies com vulgui. A la llibertat de no pensar en la meva condició de dona diàriament. A no ser assassinada pel sol fet d’haver nascut amb dos cromosomes X.

Encara ens queden moltes batalles per lluitar, no fa encara una setmana que era discriminada aquí, i no em malinterpreteu, hem de continuar cridant i exigint, però suposo que el que vull dir és que, un cop més, viure altres realitats em fa posar la meva en perspectiva. I suposo que vull dir que el món és fàcil quan ets home, blanc i europeu, no tant fàcil quan ets dona, blanca i europea, però és difícil viure-hi quan ets dona, i no ets blanca i no ets europea.

ENGLISH VERSION

Sitting in front of the blank page I asked myself where to begin. And I'll start by what may annoy some of my girlfriends, but those who know me know that honesty is one of my flaws. 

Will all the inequalities still existing in our society, the truth is I never felt that being a woman limited me. In fact, in many aspects the world is easy when you're a young, european, white woman. But maybe I had never been so aware of my gender until I went travelling on my own. 

At home, I had been victim of a few sexist comments, the typical joke of the (un)funny male friend that would later fix it with a "oh calm down, no need to get so upset", the unsollicited look or catcall on the street, the pressure to look a certain way. 

But it is not comparable to walk down the street and getting an opinion on your appearance by every man that walks by, getting all kind of sexual offers by men that will later get offended when you refuse them. Trying to get help from police and receiving a similar comment in respond. 

The first week I was in Guatemala I went to hospital with a 14-year old who had just become a Mum. I came back home with a girl crying, a boy comforting her and a little white coffin.

It is not comparable to have to ask yourself if you should go out at night and risk having the whole community stop talking to you because women should not go out at night without their partner.

Meeting a friend and her children for dinner, have her drunk husband arrive with some more drunk friends and be demanded to cook for them. Try to convince her that she doesn't have to do it, that they have hands to cook for themselves, and finally end up eating on the floor while the men sit at the table and eat the dinner she prepared.

Having to kick out the same drunk men from your house, without knowing how or why the hell they got in in the first place. Having men try to kiss you, touch you and insult you when you refuse.

The second month I was in Guatemala I found out that the women at the community were getting tubal ligation after giving birth without their husbands knowing, because they didn't want to have more children and the men would refuse to use condoms.

But I can come back, to the safety of walking alone at night, of not having to demand that my male colleagues have the same obligations that I do, to the freedom of saying I don't agree with the society I live in, of drinking alcohol without being criticised, the freedom of using contraceptives without having to hide it from my partners, of not being a teen or pre-teen Mum. To the freedom of not having to think about my status as a woman everyday. Of not being murdered because I was born with two X cromosomes. 

We still have many battles to fight, not even a week I was being discriminated here, don't get me wrong, we must keep demanding and requesting equality; but I guess that I want to say is that, once again, experiencing other realities makes me put mine into perspective. And I guess that what I want to say, is that the world is easy when you're a white, european man, not so easy when you're a white, european woman, but it is difficult to live in it when you're a woman, and you're not white, and you're not european.